words in movies
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
JOEY: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
BOTH: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
RACH: Both of you?
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
MNCA: You and me both.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
[They both step out into the hall.]
[they both stir thier coffee and proceed to stare into the mugs]
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
BOTH: Oh, ohhhhh.
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Ross: And it works both ways.
Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
(they both start up the stairs.)
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
(They both look at each other for a while)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
(They both shiver in horror.)
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
Both: (screaming with excitement) Aah!
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
(They both confer.)