words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Chandler: Oh, okay.
Chandler: I kinda like it here.
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Chandler: A vending machine?
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering to find Chandler playing Ms. Pac-Man.]
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Chandler: Well Ive been playing it for like eight hours, itll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, theyre dirty words.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: Because its awesome.
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
Monica: Chandler! Hes seven; hes not stupid.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Chandler: With the claw?!
Chandler: (smiles) Pull my finger(Looks at his hand)My hand is messed up.
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Joey: Chandler?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Chandler: I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, now its Phoebes turn to erase Chandler from the board.]
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
Chandler: All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!!
Chandler: Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
Chandler: We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story!
Chandler: Uhh, 9. (He pushes the clock into the sink.)
(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)
Chandler: (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)
Chandler: Okay, I gotta go to work.
Chandler: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: What's going on?
Phoebe: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Chandler: Uh, hey!
Chandler: We're flipping Monica's mattress.
Chandler: Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)
Chandler: Why are you screaming and hugging?
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Chandler: Condoms?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Chandler: (jumping on the bed) I can't believe it! We're here!
Chandler: Oh yes! Monica, get in here! There's a high-speed car chase on!
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: Yes, and I was saying the actual words.
Chandler: What? Why?
Chandler: Uh-huh. (He doesn't take his eyes off the TV.)
Chandler: Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!
Chandler: (turning to face her) Yeah.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Okay, great. (He grabs the remote and turns on the TV to the chase.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun?
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Chandler: Do not speak ill of the dead.
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Chandler: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Okay, fine, $300.
Chandler: Flashdance.
Chandler: Damn Rollos!
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Monica: Chandler stole a twenty from my purse!
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Chandler: Monica. (Follows her out.)
Monica: Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Chandler: Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!
Chandler: Hi!
Chandler and Phoebe: Yeah, me either.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Chandler: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
Chandler: Yes that would have made more sense.
Chandler: Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Yes that was mine.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]
Chandler: Because of the weekend, we had a fight.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: So, I guess this is over.
Chandler: I just came over to drop off nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
Chandler: Really? Okay. Great!
Chandler: So, this isn't over?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: (stops her) We're in a relationship?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second? (He grabs him and starts to drag Joey into Monica's room.)
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Chandler: Yes. Yes. (Lets him up.)
Chandler: It happened in London.
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
(Chandler pushes him through the door and Monica closes it behind them.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
(She goes over and kisses Chandler.)
[They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
Chandler: Fun's over!
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Chandler: No, Im afraid I wont be able to make love as well as him.
Chandler: Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.
Chandler: Sorry.
Chandler and Monica: Okay.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Rachel's at work.
Chandler: Hello!
Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)
[Time lapse, Monica and Chandler have changed rooms yet again.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me!
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
Chandler: So you're really okay with this?
CHANDLER: Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert, and the cake.
Mr. Geller: (To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)