words in movies
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?
Chandler: Could you want her more?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Chandler: We're notwe're not saying anything.
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Chandler: And then he did.
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Chandler: (teaching) OK, so now we draw cards.
Chandler: OK Phoebs, how many do you want?
Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria?
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: Hey, that's... that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'!
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Phoebe: Chandler?
Chandler: Couldn't be more out. (throws in cards)
Chandler: Y'know, I've had dates like this.
Chandler: Call.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Chandler: Good luck.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Chandler: Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79!
Chandler: Go.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
[Scene: The waiting room, Chandler is looking for Monica.]
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Fine! Maybe I will too!
Chandler: (spotting her) Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Hey!
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Chandler: All right. Very good.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: What's up with the simian?
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Chandler: Really? Okay, so
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
(Dan leaves as Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Right!
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!
Chandler: Dog grooming huh? Okay, just dont make my tail too poofy.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: That's true!
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Monica: (entering) Hi Chandler.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
Chandler: What's your point?
Chandler: Why?
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Chandler: Y'know that wasn't part of it?
Chandler: All right, let's show them how it's done.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Chandler: Nope.
Chandler: Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
Chandler: We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story!
Chandler: Uhh, 9. (He pushes the clock into the sink.)
(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)
Chandler: (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)
Chandler: Okay, I gotta go to work.
Chandler: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: What's going on?
Phoebe: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Chandler: Uh, hey!
Chandler: We're flipping Monica's mattress.
Chandler: Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)
Chandler: Why are you screaming and hugging?
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Chandler: Condoms?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?