words in movies
Chandler: Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Its a dog.
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Chandler: Ha!
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
Chandler: Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: What are you doin?
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Chandler: Ahhh.
Chandler: Die Hard still great!
Chandler: Whatd you rent?
Chandler: Yeah, I just got uh, got plans.
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isnt?")
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
Chandler: So uh, what did this woman look like?
Chandler: Thats sweet.
Chandler: Well, cause she came back the third summer and shed gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Chandler: Who?
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Chandler: Oooh, Im afraid that does not exist.
Chandler: Okay, there's something different though--Oh my God! You smoked!
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
(Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Chandler: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? (pats his Travel Scrabble game)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: I would really love it if could do both.
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Chandler: Bye! (Exits.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay, now wait a minute that was totally different.
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are playing chess and are both studying the board intently.]
Chandler: Come on! Why are we here?!
[Scene: N.Y.Us University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.]
Chandler: The hot chicks?
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
Chandler: Wow thats actually pretty cool.
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
Chandler: Did she freak out?
Chandler: Right.
Chandler: You said no right?!
Chandler: (laughs) You said no right?
Chandler: No! That was a lie! See how easy that was?
Chandler: Yes!!
Chandler: Yes!!!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever!
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Janice: Chandler?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Chandler: Is that what youre thinking about right now?
(Chandler does the same nasal sound to Chandler.)
Chandler: Feelings, such strong feelings.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Chandler: Say again?
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Chandler: No, no, no. No-no-no.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Chandler: Yeahhh. Im tellin ya something, that ah, first smoke after nap time....
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Chandler: Oh, okay, time's up!
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Chandler: Oh that's not bad, Pheebs?
Chandler: What equity investments?
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Chandler: Okay, but if you can't no dinner!
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Monica: Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
Chandler: Which smells delicious!
Chandler: What?
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Chandler: Huh! Where is the dog?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
Chandler: What is it doing here?
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Chandler: (gasping) Really?
Chandler: Okay, it's um
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.