words in movies
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Chandler: (not enthused) Yeah, all right.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! What?
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Chandler: Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Chandler: What equity investments?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Chandler: And?
Chandler: There you are.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Chandler: That is true.
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Chandler: I think thats gum.
Chandler: Okay, listen this really hurts. Lets go.
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Well, lets just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: No way!
Chandler: Oh my God! Whos gonna watch that?!
Chandler: Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. (Goes back inside and shuts the door)
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Chandler: Could be Casey.
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Chandler: You!
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: She?
Chandler: You dont think I get up when you get up?
Chandler: Excuse me?
Chandler: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Chandler: Ill take her back tomorrow.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Chandler: (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Chandler: Thanks, Im glad you see it that way.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
CHANDLER: Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties.
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Chandler: Having a swim.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Chandler: Bye!
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Chandler: Oh! Worm medicine for the duck.
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Chandler: So thats the girl you like.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
Chandler: Could I borrow it?
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home!
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yeah, and I dont have any cologne.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Chandler: Diet soda.
Chandler: Yes!
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Chandler: 7:15. (Monica looks at him) Watch doesnt work.
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Chandler: Ross, dont. Ross!
Chandler: Orange juice.
Chandler: Ohh, thats a good one.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
(We see Tommy go into Joey and Chandlers apartment)
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Chandler: Step away from the duck.
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Chandler and Joey: Whoa!!!
Chandler: No!!
Chandler: Okay, well, it's definite, two more weeks of winter.
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Chandler: Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! (sees it) Huh.
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Chandler: You're right, I know.
Ross: Chandlers gone again!
Chandler: (joining them) Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's?
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.