words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.]
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: That's a pig.
Chandler: Hey! (Joey quickly hides the magazine under the couch.)
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: How can he do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Chandler: He thought you said gonad.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
Chandler: Love what you've done with the place.
Chandler: Oh yeah!
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: You built a fort didn't ya?
Chandler: (notices something) Oh my God, the air purifier! Ross's air purifier! All I heard through 4 years of college was (makes a humming noise.)
Chandler: I hate this thing!
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Chandler: (entering) Hello children!
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Chandler: You mean this. (Does the maneuver perfectly.)
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: No-no-no-no!
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Chandler: Okay, so he's out of here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Chandler: Well, I-I-I'm done with this. You want anything Ross? Sports? International? Apartment listings?
Chandler: Not even on page 7?
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Chandler: There we go!
Chandler: Let's go quicker.
Chandler: Yeah, well look at this kitchen, slash bathroom. Well that's great! Y'know so you can cook while in the tub.
Chandler: Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks.
Ross: (To Chandler) How about you?
Chandler: It's a kitchen slash bathroom.
Chandler: We are bad people.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Chandler: Yes that was a nice place!
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
Chandler: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: About Ross!
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Chandler: Ohhhhh!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
Chandler: 98. 99. 100. Okay, go!
(He tries to get up again and starts falling backwards and Chandler catches him.)
Chandler: Here we go! Here we go!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: You're kidding, no!
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Yes! Ross, you have to stay!
Chandler: All right, buddy!
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
(Chandler does so.)
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Chandler: Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!!
Chandler: I am so, so, so, so sorry!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Chandler: So, are we going in there?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Chandler: I see.
Monica: Gunther, can I get a coffee (Looks at Chandler) to go?
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Chandler: You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred
Joey: No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
Chandler: Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Thank you.
Chandler: Yeah so, Tuesday?
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Chandler: But the Kit-Kats are all right?!
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Hi.
Joey: Hey-hey listen (Chandler waves him away.)
Chandler: No, we only went out once.
Chandler: Not once!
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is having coffee with Dana.]
Chandler: The nerve huh?
Chandler: Refill?
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
Chandler: (entering) Hey.
Chandler: Uh, Dana Keystone from college.
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Chandler: No-noReally?!
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler is having dinner with Dana.]
(Chandler leaves dejectedly. When the door closes Rachel and Phoebe jump out from behind the curtains and scream )
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Chandler: But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: So?!
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (initially worried, but gets over it) Really?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Chandler: Oh, tell her good luck with that.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
Chandler: Oh thats so funny because we found someone too.
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Chandler: (To Monica) All yours babe. (Walks away.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Chandler: A face ass?
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Well, you dont look good Joe.
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Chandler: Our new fridge? I dont live here anymore.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in