words in movies
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, my Fathers house does that!
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Rachel: Ross, my father doesnt hate you.
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Chandler: Or what my Father called Thursday night.
Phoebe: My Father is Chuck Magioni?
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
Rachel: I dont have any issues with my Father.
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Doug: says $30 Father; same as in town.
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Frank Sr.: All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Ross: Of course he is! What, do you think Id just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am?
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Monica: Well, her father pays you for baby-sitting right?
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Monica: You gave my father a lap dance!
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Rachel: No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.
Monica: Chandler! Hes your father; he should be at the wedding.
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Ross: Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Joey: Whoa, wait a minute. Whos the father?
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Chandler: Whos the father?
Phoebe: Whos the father?!
Monica: Oh, wait a minute! Whos is the father?!
Monica: That cant be your father.
The Rabbi: I am Father Kalebasous.
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Rachel: Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now?
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Phoebe: Okay, sorry. Yeah. (They go inside to confront the father.)
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!