words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, all but Chandler are there, Joey laughs for no apparent reason.]
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure youre ready for that?
Monica: Nah, he doesnt do anything for me.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya?
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Pete: Youre, hey, youre not paying for the pizza!
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Joey: Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Drew: Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, Im not looking for any thing serious.
Ross: Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.
Ross: Just go for it Chandler.
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Joey: Uhh, do you mind sitting there. Im-Im saving this for my friend Ross.
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Ross: Okay, good-good for you.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Monica: Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game.
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Monica: No, wait, please dont go! Ive got porn for you too!
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, Im Ross, you dont know me, but Im a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joey: Okay, for next time, what do you say?
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Phoebe: Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me.
Rachel: So? (She puts her hands in his, totally forgetting about the gloves, and hoping for something more intimate.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Rachel: Oh, yknow, would you just for once, not remember every little thing!! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Mr. Waltham: For you and Emily, tonight, Die Fledermaus.
Phoebe: Remember, a virgin for me please.
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
Monica: I think somebody needs another lap dance. (Motions for one.)
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Ross: Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other.
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Ross: Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily.
Ross: Happy for you. (He punches her back.)
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7, and Kate waves good bye.)
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
Chandler: Okay. (She grabs a tin of freshly baked cookies) Oh yes. (He reaches for one.)
Rachel: Care for a cherry?
Chandler: Does for me.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand walks away from the window.)
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Rachel: Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!