words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, all but Chandler are there, Joey laughs for no apparent reason.]
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure youre ready for that?
Monica: Nah, he doesnt do anything for me.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya?
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Pete: Youre, hey, youre not paying for the pizza!
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
JOEY: Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
CHANDLER: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
RACHEL: OK, I'm doin' it for ya.
(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)
[a voice in the background calls for makeup]
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
[Chandler can't find his money in the pocket. In the meantime, another couple shows up, and Chandler turns away to look for his money]
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
SUSIE: This is for the fourth grade.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
MONICA: Just some stuff for the party.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
JOEY: You're blowin' me off for a monkey?
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
RACH: Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
MONICA: Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
Ross: (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Phoebe: Ten dollars an hour for what?
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
MONICA: All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)