words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Joey: Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
All: (they all recoil from the smell emanating from him) Oh! God! Wow!
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
Chandler: Ooh, let me talk to him!
Chandler: Maybe, she doesnt hit him all the time.
Phoebe: Im sorry. (Goes and hugs him)
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it.
Monica: Okay. (hands him a cup)
Ross: Really? (Joey gives him a Like I would know look)
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Joey: (stopping him) Wait. Give him a minute.
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Man: Sure. (Hands him the ticket.)
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
Joey: Well so, how come you blew me off? Y'know? How come you were with him?
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Chandler: 7:15. (Monica looks at him) Watch doesnt work.
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Phoebe: Okay. (watches him leave)
Joey: (going over to him) Well?!
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Phoebe: (stopping him) No! No!
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
JOEY: Not like him, per-se, just not un-like him.
Chandler: Well sensitive is important, pick him.
Phoebe: (running after him) Wait-wait-wait! Wait!!
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Phoebe: I dont know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince!
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Phoebe: Why dont you go up there and ask him to step lightly, please?
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Ross: No-o-o! (Rachel gives him a Please? look.) No way!
Ross: Linda Clickclocken. (Pause) So what uh, what-what table are you at? (She shows him.) Oh, uh me too.
Rachel: (taking the brush back) Okay. Lets use this brush. (Hands him another one.)
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
Monica: Chasing him all around the room?
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
Rachel: Yes! (she starts creeping up on him)
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Chandler: (looks at him) Nooo.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler enter with Chandler covering his eyes and Joey leading him.]
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: I know. (Hugs him more violently this time and pushes him back away from the letter.)
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Chandler: Ah-ha, youre not the boss of me. (She kisses him) Yeah, you are! (She handcuffs him to the chair) Ooh, saucy.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Mr. Treeger:: And tell him what?
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
(Ross wakes up with a start and startles Rachel. The guy next to him starts laughing, which starts Ross laughing, Rachel gives him a look and he stops.)
Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
[cut to inside Central Perk, we see Ross quietly tapping on the window, desperately trying to get the gangs attention, while Tommy is still screaming at him]
Joey: Yeah-eh-eah! (Rachel glares at him) Oh-oh, sorry, I-I knew what he meant.
Kathy: Oh, jeez. (Hits him)
Kathy: You're kidding! Oh, I love him.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Phoebe: Well, I think I can help you get over him.
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Ross: Come on, Pheebs lay off him.
David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Ross: (she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Vince: You made him a candle light dinner in the park?
Rachel: Ughh! (Storms out after him)
Jill: And yknow what I said to him? "Im gonna hire a lawyer and Im gonna sue you and take all your money. Then Im gonna cut you off!"
(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. Sweet 'n' Lo's rain down on him)
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.