words in movies
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Rachel: Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
Joey: Services? (Ross looks at him) Oh, services.
Joey: How could you lose him?
Ross: Absolutely. (Turns back to the woman next to him.) So, twins... hah! Thats like two births. (He struggles again.) Ouch.
Rachel: Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldnt take it.
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)
(Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Mindy: Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.
Phoebe: Oh, Im so sorry. Um, and maybe Im wrong! I butyknow Im gonna go out with him again, Ill find out more.
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Ross: Are you not seeing him anymore?
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Ross: I'm smarter than him!
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Monica: No, I haven't seen him.
Phoebe: Where? (Turns to face him) Ooh, come to Momma.
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.
Joey: Sure! Whats up? (He grabs a plate and proceeds to load it with a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Chandler just stares at him and Joey reluctantly gives him a spoonful.)
Monica: Hi! Hey, Pete youre back! Hey, check this out. (She starts to skate over to him)
Ross: Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Monica: I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Rachel: I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see him.
Monica: Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now.
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Will: So you knocked her up but youre not gonna marry her. Dude! (Wants another high-five and Ross ignores him.) Anybody?
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Colleen: I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
Ross: Hey! (congratulates him)
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Rachel: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Joey: (joins him) I gotta get one, too.
Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)
Annabelle: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Joey: Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)