words in movies
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Joey: (glares at him) I know!
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Rachel: All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Chandler: You told him to play the boxer gay!!
Chandler: You totally screwed him over.
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
(Theyre all staring at him, with big, huge smiles on their faces.)
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
Chandler: No problem roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.)
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Rachel: No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out.
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
Ross: I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick!
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Rachel: Ross, please, don't be so scared of him!
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Tom: Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. D'you know if he's seeing anyone?
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Erica: Yeah... it's almost definitely him. (Monica and Chandler look confused now)
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Monica: Seriously, you don't think we should tell him?
Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else.
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
Phoebe: Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... (Translation: So, would you please just humor him?)
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Joey: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
(He walks over and kisses her. They pull back, Rachel looks at him, and they kiss again.)
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)
(Monica looks at him.)
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
(She kisses him on the cheek and looks over at the others.)
(She pulls him over to the door.)
(Rachel gives him a look.)
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Rachel: She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it?
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
Guru Saj: Oh, I think I see the problem. And Im afraid were gonna have to use a much stronger tool. (Ross gives him a What? look) Love.
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
(Ross points at him and exits.)
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Rachel: Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna...
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)