words in movies
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Monica: Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe.
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
Ross: Okay, we could still make dinner if we skipped the appetisers and asked for our check right away.
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Joey: Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Mary Ellen: I'll stay if you can tell me my name.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Monica: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Joey: If you ask me to stay, I�ll pee. (leaves)
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but Im already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Monica: Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me.
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Monica: Like only if the queen comes?
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
PHOEBE: So?� What if they do?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Ross: Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?
Chandler: Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know.
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Chandler: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.
(Steve makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.)
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
(Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands)
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?
Mike: But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Monica: Really? If that's what you want...
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Manny: I've heard the speech: (in a mocking voice) "if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her... "
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Chandler: Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you!
Ross: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
Ross: (mockingly)Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery!
Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win?
Ross: Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too.
Rachel: I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word.
Rachel: All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us!
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Rachel: Oh, if she jumps, I get her tickets.
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
Ross: I guess if everybody else is...
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.