words in movies
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Rachel: Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Chandler: (Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Rachel: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
Student: I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it?
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
David: Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didnt know whether I should call or not, yknow I-I was only in town for a few days. And yknow, I didnt want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you andbut I didnt know if you wanted to see me.
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that.
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
Jeannine: Well, if you don't, I will.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Rachel: But ah, youre safe from it if its in the freezer?
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To Gunther, who's standing there frozen) Okay, go! Go! Go! (He runs off.) (To Larry) Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
Joey: If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call.
Rachel: Well, Ill ask him for you, if you want me too?
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Chandler: (smiling) If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?
Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles.
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Monica: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Phoebe: But if...
Gate attendant #1: Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass...
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
Alice: None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, were just gonna be right over there (points to the counter) having coffee.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Chandler: If that doesnt keep kids in school, what will?
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Frank: Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain!
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't... why can't we just hang out as friends?
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
Monica: What if I asked?
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
Kate: Well umm, maybe if it had more heat.
Ross: I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
Pete: Wait, wait, wait, wait, thats-thats what youre worried about? If thats the problem, weve got no problem.
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Rachel: Well, we have gotta find out if hes alive.
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Rachel: But I couldnt even if I wanted to, because I dont know! I swear; I didnt see anything, and I dont want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.
Pete: Okay, yeah. I mean... If thats, if thats really what you want, okay.
MONICA: Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
Joey: Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die?
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Tommy: Hey, mind if I use the phone?
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Joey: Anyone mind if I save this?
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
Monica: So, if youre parents hadnt got divorced, youd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?