words in movies
Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, its in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If youre gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Mrs. Waltham: Well, if youre on e of Rosss best friends, why arent you here?
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Rachel: Look, If I dont get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
Passenger: If youre planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Ross: Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think yknow if we if Youre wearing the ring.
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Mary Ellen: I'll stay if you can tell me my name.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Monica: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Joey: If you ask me to stay, I�ll pee. (leaves)
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but Im already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Monica: Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me.
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Monica: Like only if the queen comes?
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
PHOEBE: So?� What if they do?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Ross: Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?
Chandler: Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know.
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Chandler: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
(Steve makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.)
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
(Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands)
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?
Mike: But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Monica: Really? If that's what you want...
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.