words in movies
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Chandler: Look, Im telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place.
Ross: Oh hey, hey, huh, how about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dart board? Huh, huh, what do you think? (in an Irish accent) Two days of darts, itll be great!
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Phoebe: No, the No Smoking sign. Theres no smoking in my Grandmothers cab.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
[Joey gets out and sprints to the bathroom and Chandler follows with a cigarette in his hands.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Monica: (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Joey: If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call.
[They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
Phoebe: Yep. Put more gas in.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Ross: Oh! I thought you guys got married in uh, January?
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Rachel: I dont know, Im sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here.
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Ross: He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course Im stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, Ive got plenty of people to help on the Interstate.
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Joey: Yeah, and not put us in the middle.
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
[They all get in the cab and drive away.]
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
ROSS: How can you not believe in evolution?
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
Joey: Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!?
[a voice in the background calls for makeup]
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
Monica: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?
EDDIE: At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
Phoebe: What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Joshua: I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think Im gonna wear it home.
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
Emily: Dont do this to me, again. Youd know Id stay here in a minute, but Id really miss so much work, theyll fire me.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Joey: She's my biggest fan. Yeah, she's the only one in the family that's believed in me.
CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time.
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
[Ross enters, sees Joey in the mirror]
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
Chandler: Nina? Nina. (He goes around his desk to where she is sitting.) Nina. (In pain) Nina.
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
ROSS: Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this, he's healthy, he's happy, and he's right here in New York filming Outbreak II - The Virus Takes Manhattan.
Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. Were knitting pot holders.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
ROSS: You were in a porno?
MONICA: Hey, you got me, put it in.
Eric: Come in, Im so glad youre here.
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
[Scene: Joey's Bedroom, he and Melanie are in bed together.]
The Fan: No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store arent gonna believe this! (Exits.)
CHAN: [in phone] So, Spock actually hugs his father?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
MONICA: Good, they feel good, in my head.
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
(Nina gasps in surprise and relief.)
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
ROSS: Hey you. [they stand together in front of the TV.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
ERICA: How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem?
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
FRIEND: Well, you kids take the train in?
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: The one in the director's chair.
TATTOO ARTIST: Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me.
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
(She hears another signal in another direction.)
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
CHANDLER: Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
[Scene: Elizabeth's apartment; Elizabeth is inquiring as to the delay in Ross's exit from her bathroom.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?
Rachel: Yeah, ohh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? (In a girlish voice) I have a crush on you; I am attracted to you. (Back to normal again) Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
[Monica goes in the bathroom]
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway)
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!