words in movies
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Rachel: Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I.
Joey: Whoa! Okay. Yeah well, who-who was in World War I? (Rachel pauses as she thinks.)
Monica: Who did we fight in World War I?
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Chandler: Yes, include more people in this.
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Phoebe: (finding something interesting in the trash can) Oh my God!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
Ross: We are never gonna find him! Hes one guy in a huge city!
Phoebe: He could be in disguise, yknow.
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
(He hears Phoebe and Rachel coming and hides in the ice machine room.)
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
Chandler: (in Monicas ear) Hes Greek Orthodox.
Rachel: (leaning in) As are you
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
(Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows.)
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash.
(The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath.)
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Joey: Yeah, and not put us in the middle.
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.
Monica: Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!
Monica: I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Alice: Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so
Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Phoebe: Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark?
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Alice: None the less. Umm, youre too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Phoebe: (singing) I stepped in something icky.
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
SUSIE: Oh, shoot, we gotta go, got a reservation in 30 minutes.
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
Kate: It doesnt say that in the script.
Joey: It does in mine!
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)
The Director: (leaning in) Kate?
Chandler: Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
(Joey whispers in Rachels ear to confirm his response.)
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
CHAN: And we're changing. [jogs back in his apartment]
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
ROSS: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr!
MONICA: I'm just easing you in.
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Kate: Yeah, thats pretty much what I had in mind.
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: All right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in.
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Ross: Sorry I ah, I scared you in there.
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
CHANDLER: But hey, it's courtside.� The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . (Pause)� That's not the way to convince you.
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Chandler: This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program!
Joey: Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
Phoebe: No, the No Smoking sign. Theres no smoking in my Grandmothers cab.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hey! Thats just poking me in the eye!
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Ross: (rushing back in) What?! I wh-, whats wrong?
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Joey: I-I wasnt in that.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.