words in movies
[And with that we go into the save the budget portion of the show, which features flashbacks from previous episodes. The first set of auditions feature high lights or low lights of Joeys acting career. The first flashback is from The One With The Lesbian Wedding.]
Joey: (on stage in an Austrian accent) Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
(They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other.)
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Chandler: How did you know? (Heads back into the bathroom)
[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]
Monica: Yeah, apparently theyre turning it into some kinda coffee place.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
Joey: Hey! (goes into the apartment)
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
MR. GREENE: Alright, that sounds like a two person job. [they walk into Rachel's bedroom]
Monica: Oh my God. Okay, go into the bathroom, use whatever you want, just don't ever tell me what you did in there.
(Monica runs into the kitchen from the terrace.)
Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff yknow, sexually?
Rachel: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.
Rachel: Petty... (goes into her room)
Rachel: Okay, fine. (She gets up and walks into her bedroom)
Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
Monica: I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up!
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
(Paul screams like a chicken and breaks down into tears again.)
[Chandler makes a noise of absolute disgust and heads into the living room.]
Rachel: Oh, Danny just went into room 217.
Chandler: You-you-you dont wanna give into the fear.
Monica: (Thinks a little more) Okay, Okay, (clapping her hands) All right. What if we got both houses? Huh? We can turn this house into a guest house.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
(The clerk enters the video into the computer.)
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
(They walk into a completely redecorated and repainted room. And of course, the room is immaculate. Only an obsessive-compulsive like Monica could find fault with the room.)
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Guest #2: (sees the cake) Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! (Ross tries dumping it into a nearby plant.) Who would do a think like that?
(Monica stomps on Paul's watch and goes into her room.)
DR. BURKE: I'm going to look into your eyes now.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
Ross: Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking her.)
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
PHOE: Oohh, um, no, I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went, um, dancing the other night and the way he held me so close, and the way he was looking into my eyes I just like... definitely felt something.
Rachel: No? Yknow, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
RACHEL: Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
(The door across the hall opens and a guy walks into Ross's apartment.)
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
Ross: No you doy'know what, youre not gonna suck me into this.
Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
Rachel: You never come into this office again!
(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Chandler: Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames.
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
(Janice starts to breath into it and sucks in the reciept, and then spits it out.)
(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)
(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head outside.)
Ross: You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! (Walks back into his room.)
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Monica: (laughing harder) You know the words! You are so into this!
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
Dr. Green: Youre still going to that chiropractor, that man couldnt get into medical school in Extapa!
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Rachel: Okay. (She goes into her bedroom)
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7, and Kate waves good bye.)
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
(The chick and the duck walk into the living room.)
Ross: Monicas right. Were talking about getting married here. Okay? She-she cant just rush into this.