words in movies
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Rachel: (Into mike) Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. (He opens the door for her and she exits into the hallway.)
(Lorraine whispers into Joey's ear.)
(Phoebe leads David into a bedroom)
Chandler: Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom?
Rachel: (Into microphone) Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(An unamused woman walks into the office.)
(Rachel enters, she has changed once again. This time into her high school cheerleading uniform.)
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
(Ross is staring blankly into space.)
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Monica: Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
[In the bathroom Susie and Chandler are kissing. She backs into a stall.]
(He starts to carry her into the hallway but hits her head on the door.)
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
(He throws his piece back in the box, runs into the living room, looks for a place to hide the pizza, finds one, slides the box under the couch, sits down on the table, and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.)
(The rest of the group come into the picture.)
(Marcel points the remote at Monicas television, pressing a particular combination of keys. The logo SAP appears on the screen, and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed into Spanish.)
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no. Presents first. Food later. (walks into living room)
Mike: Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk?
(They go back into the living room)
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
(Rachel runs into the airport, trying to catch Ross, moving people out of the way.)
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her apartment.)
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Rachel: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
ROSS: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
[They both step out into the hall.]
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
(They walk off into the sunset, at least a picture of one.)
Phoebe: Good. (Phoebe and Mrs. Burkart go into the other room, leaving Monica with everyone staring at her.)
[they both stir thier coffee and proceed to stare into the mugs]
PHOEBE: I think it went into me.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
(Marcel jumps into view wearing a pink dress. Everybody gasps)
(Ross and Charlie walk into the hall from Ross's room)
Amy: A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.
EDDIE: No thanks man, I'm not uh, I'm not really into sports.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
ROSS: What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
SUSIE: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.