words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Chandler: Couldnt I just say, "This is Ross?"
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is examining the injury to Rosita while Rachel is apologizing to him.]
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is entering.]
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Monica: Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies! (She goes to the attic.)
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is hard at work.]
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still talking to Earl.]
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: Francette? What is she? A couch?
Joey: Oh there is! If you want something enough and your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen!
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still trying to talk Earl out of suicide.]
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Rachel: What is that noise?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is teaching Leslie how to sing Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
[Scene: Petes Restaurants Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.]
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
Ross: Hey. Oh, Im sorry, this is Cailin.
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Joey: Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle.
FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.
Phoebe: Oh, is the play over?
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Rachel: What time is it?
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Tommy: What is in the cup?!
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Rachel: Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, its like all Im doing is running back and forth from the huddle.
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Chandler: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7.
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Phoebe: Vince is a fireman.
Joey: Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing.
Joey: Well what is it?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Well then, what is it?!
Michelle: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
Phoebe: Jason is not a sissy!
Chandler: Well sensitive is important, pick him.
(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) This place is amazing.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is returning from Petes.]
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Ross: What is ah, Rach in her room?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!