words in movies
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebodys stairs!
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for Rachel.]
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is hosting an impromptu roundtable discussion with Stephanie, Karin, and Meg about Rosss three divorces.]
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is packing some books and Joey is watching him.]
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
[Scene: Rosss lawyers office, his name is Russell and has just been told by Ross about his current situation.]
Russell: (interrupting) Im sorry, is this the same Rachel whos name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is painting her toe nails as Monica enters.]
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Monica: An era is defined as a significant period of time. Now, it was significant to me, maybe it wasnt significant to you!
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel: It is? Really?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Judge: Is there, anything in this record that is actually true?
[Chandler is mega shocked!]
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
[cut to Ross who walks up to Rachel who is eating a baked pretzel.]
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Chandler: Is that gal pal spelled L-O-S-E-R?
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Ross: Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue.
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Rachel: Hey, this is hollow.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone except Joey is there.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
RACHEL: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Ross: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Rachel: Whatyeahwhat, yknow what? I hope Emily is a lesbian.
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams table discussing the bill.]
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
Chandler: Joey, why is your cable out?
Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
Phoebe: Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
(Joey is looking at his check.)
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.]
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Chandler: Is not.
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Joey: This is crazy.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.
[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel doesn't recognize him.]