words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
[Joey is staring at Monica's breasts]
MONICA: Joey that is horriable.
RACHEL: Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
JOEY: Right this is staging.
CHANDLER: Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area.
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
MONICA: Ok, the first person's most embarassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny.
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
MR. GREENE: Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
GIRL 1: Is it true they have beer?
PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
MRS. GREENE: You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat.
MRS. GREENE: ...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Joey: The ring is gone!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is deciding on whether or not to go to the wedding.]
[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
Clerk: Eight oclock is the cut-off and, (looks at his watch) aww, its 8:02.
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Ross: Wheres my ring? My dead grandmothers wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: At Chandler and Joey's. Ross and Chandler are there. Ross is watching wrestling.]
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Chandler: There it is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Ross: This is my wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next day. Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.]
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Rachel: Okay, that is all you.
CHANDLER: Is it--?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
[Scene: The hotel, Rosss room, Emily is entering.]
Ross: Theres no or in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Monica is holding the wrapping paper from one of Rachel's gifts.]
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emilys Parents house.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Mrs. Waltham: Who is this?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
[Scene: Barry's Office, Barry is preparing his tools alone as Rachel enters.]
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Ross: Oh! You are gonna love it! (The girl is looking in the other direction as Ross is taking off his own coat, revealing the pink and white ladies shirt) and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to prevent Gunther from spilling the beans.]
[Scene: Joey enters his hotel room. The phone is ringing.]
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
Eric: Im an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.
Carol: This is impossible. Its just impossible.
[The next clip is from The One The Morning After.]
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London that Rachel is on.]
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!