words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Rachel: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
(Rachel heads for the door but is intercepted by the doctor.)
Dr. Miller: This is a glaucoma test.
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The gang is surrounding Rachel at key positions.]
[Scene: Outside Monas Apartment, Ross is knocking on the door.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
Ross: Aww that is so cool.
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Aunt Lisa: Oh that is so sweet!
RACHEL: [holding a pillow made out of 4 inch red fur] Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?
[Scene: A Street, Ross is walking past a newsstand and sees Rachel.]
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh my God! That is so good!
Parker: Is something wrong?
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.� Chandler is seated in the chair and Monica stands behind the sofa.]
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
Rachel: God she is unbelievable.
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Chandler: Okay. Now all weve got to do is get rid of this chair.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Ross: Uh no, no just-just that he is a great guy.
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
(Ross is having a fit, about how calm Tommy is now)
[The next one is from Episode 605: The One With Joey's Porsche.]
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Monica: Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef.
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
(The gang is confused.)
(The gang is disappointed.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is watching Cujo while Joey returns from his date scaring Rachel.]
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Dina is at the craft services table getting some food as Joey walks up.]
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
ROB: The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals.
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Joey: Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Phoebe: Really? Lee Majors is hot!
Monica: Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD?
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Ben: Sharing is good.
Ross: Is there a hopping bonus?
Chandler: This is the best game ever!!!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Monica: Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.