words in movies
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Courtney: It is one of those days!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to open the door this time.]
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Rachel: Okay. NowWhat is my first line?
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney is dancing in the fat suit and after shaking her groove thing sits down in exhaustion.]
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Matt: Sometimes the dialogue itself is just so funny and youllwell be rehearsing during the week and you justwhatever-whatever the joke is; its so funny we cant get through it in rehearsal and just
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
(David is laughing.)
Matthew: It is when were able to crack each other up.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
David: That is too much!
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is returning from Petes.]
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Ross: What is ah, Rach in her room?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Phoebe: Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here?
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebes singing, Vince is also there.]
Chandler: (to Monica) You see you cant tell which one is which either, dwha!!
Phoebe: Well, this is none of my business. (starts to walk away)
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Sandy: Her name is Deliah.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang minus Monica is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is trying to find out what Phoebe wont tell her.]
Robin: What is it, Tim?
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Rachel: Why?! What is it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.]
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby?
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
CHANDLER: Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it.
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
Rachel: That is so cool.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
JOEY: Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Chloe: But my apartment is so...
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Monica: Oh well, where is he?!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, the rest of the gang is lounging around.]
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe's beeper is going off]
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving her last cup of coffee.]
Billy: (to Joey) Hey, Im trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?!
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
[Monica is visibly upset]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
(The gang is shocked.)
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Monica: What?! What is it?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yes! Yes! Im good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everythingare youare you perrr-perfect?!
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]