words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Monica: Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies! (She goes to the attic.)
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Rachel: You will like it!
Joey: Because, I know what I like and what I dont like! Its not the same thing!
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Joey: No its not weird, its a miracle!
Rachel: Its not a miracle Joey! Im sure theres some explanation.
Rachel: No, yknow what? Maybe somebody came in here and fixed it! Or something!
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Monica: (looking through it) Really? Wow! It looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines.
Ross: Nu-uh! (Grabs it and examines it.)
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Rachel: Ohhhhh. Thats how it got fixed!
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Phoebe: Umm, look it, you-you cant kill yourself.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Earl: I thought it was toner.
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Earl: Couldnt it just be a coincidence?
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Earl: It doesnt really seem like enough to be fate.
Earl: (inspecting it) Really?
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Monica: (opening it) Whats this?
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Rachel: Oh yeah, Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it.
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Monica: Hey, its good to see you!
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Chandler: Okay uh, heres the electric bill. (Hands it to him.)
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
Mr. Bowmont: Its Pam.
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Monica: (standing outside) Cute PJs! Youre really livin it up here in London huh?
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Joey: No way! Its mine!!
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
Joey: We didnt ruin it!
Chandler: Yeah, well Yknow, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh?
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Monica: Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Chandler: Okay. It's not different at all, is it?
Rachel: And fifty. So it was like one and fifty dollars.
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Monica: Yeah, its great.
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Phoebe: Well hey, its just a backup.
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Rachel: (starts crying and speaking at the same time, making it almost impossible to understand what she's saying) I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you...
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Richard: Who is it?
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
(He hangs up the phone and tears the note off the pad.� Then, he stops and re-reads it.� Rachel enters.)
Chandler: Well why didnt you stop her?! Why didnt you just tell her it was a plan?!
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
CHANDLER: You got a Cheeto on your face man.[Joey removes the Cheeto and eats it]
Phoebe: Got it.
Joey: That's it? You're-you're gonna let me do this?! This-this is my career we're talking about here!
Phoebe: Oh no, let her stay out there. Its sweet.
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
Phoebe: Oh honey no, you ate it all.
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Rachel: Shake it off.
Rachel: No, absolutely. Yknow like it was umm
MONICA: Yeah, am I in it?
Dr. Green: What is it sweetie?
ROSS: But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic.
Chandler: Its happened to you?
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Ross: It is! It is!
Rachel: Oh honey, but it is just about
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Honey I swear it we just kissed.
Joey: Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad.
Rachel: No-no, its really not huge.
Monica: Well, were still talking about it, arent we?
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Ross: Still thinking about it huh?
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Chandler: Okay, dont say anything, you might scare it away.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Monica: And yet, here we are doing it again.
Monica: I just thought it would be nice if I could have just this one night!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Ross: Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.
Rachel: Were not gonna do this, all right? Shes just gonna think that were doin it.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Rachel: Who is it?
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)