words in movies
Monica: Its your birthday!
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
Chandler: No Rach, its not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasnt that much fun.
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
All: Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldnt it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Monica: All right Rach, for what its worth, I think that youre doing great. I mean yknow lets face it, no one handles this well.
Joey: But it hurts my Joeys Apple.
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. Its not named for each individual man.
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Chandler: Ohh! (He quickly removes his hand and looks at it.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Monica: Ross, just forget about it. This guys got you totally wedged in.
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
Phoebe: Because its our thirtieth birthday.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
[Scene: Monicas birthday, its just after the surprise.]
Tag: It wasnt on your list, but hopefully youll think its really fun.
Rachel: (opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Rachel: (crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Ross: Hey! Look whos back! Its the birthday girl! Hows the birthday girl feeling?
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
Joey: Will you quit hoggin it!
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Chandler: I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it up and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Chandler: Hey! Howd it go?
Joey: All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Lets go!
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Monica: Okay, lets do it. Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!
Ross: And they knew about it?
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Monica: Yes it is! You saw me wearing it!
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Monica: What? You freak! You wouldnt even have known about this place if it wasnt for me!
Rachel: Well what?! How-how much is it?!
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Female Jeweler: I just sold it to that gentleman. (Points to the one walking out the store.)
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Chandler: Ill teach ya! Come on, come on, its really easy and really, really fun.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Monica: Its enough for wedding scenario eight.
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Phoebe: If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Ross: No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way.
Rachel: Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya!
Danny: Oh wow, you look great! Glad you could make it.
Chandler: It happened in London.
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Chandler: Dont worry about it Pheebs.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Joey: Uhh, rub it?
Rachel: It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Monica: Hey! How was it?
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Monica: Oh my God Chandler! I cant believe it!
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Rachel: It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.
Monica: It's in the kitchen, I'll go get it.
(Chandler picks up a basket from the table and puts it on his head.)
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Rachel: Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.
Joey: God, its gonna so weird like when I come home and youre not here. Yknow? No more Joey and Chans. No more J and Cs. "You wanna go over to Joey and Chandlers?" "Cant, its not there."
Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this! (She does it instead.)
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
Ross: We?! We angered it?!
[there's a loud bang at the door so Ross opens it back up to find a shoe has been thrown at it]
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: Just pull on it.
Monica: All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
Chandler: Its your mommy. Its your mommy.
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Ross: It wasnt the best.
Rachel: Its the same story.
Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Mr. Thompson: I think it was valued at 19,000
Chandler: Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles.
Hilda: No dear. Its not.
Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Chandler: Oh its always nicer to here than, "Aw crap! You again!"
Tag: I cant believe it!
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.