words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Joey: (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Joey: You guys dont think I look 19?
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Joey: I was afraid of that.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Joey: Sup? Sup dude?
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Joey: Come on man, really how old?!
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: When? Today? Some, not a lot.
Joey: Dont worry about that man, that happens.
Joey: Yeah! Once.
Joey: I did it anyway.
(Chandler and Joey enter and overhear that.)
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Joey: What?
Joey: You guys kissed! Oh mythis is huge!
Joey: Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel.
Joey: You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?!
Joey: Really?
Joey: Seriously?
Joey: (gasps) Im 30!
Rachel: Joey, you are not! Youre 31.
Joey: (realizes) Aww crap!
Joey: Psss, that is whack!
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Joey: Wouldnt she?
Joey: Would she? (He smells something and gasps as he realizes what it is.) You ate my candy bar!
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
Joey: They break your heart, dont they?
Joey: Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding!
Joey: What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.
Phoebe: They give you away! Theres just-theres just too much wisdom in there. (Joey nods in agreement.) Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes.
Joey: And thatll get rid of my wisdom?
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Joey: (to Phoebe) Wow, that was kinda brutal.
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Joey: Oh, now I have to go!!
Chandler: Joey told you about the leg, huh?
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Joey: Yeah. You okay?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Where have you been?
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Joey: Done.
[cut to Chandler, Joey, and Margha.]
Joey: So Pheebs whats this guy like?
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Joey: Uh, y'know what, were having second thoughts about our copying needs. And well need a little more time to think about it.
JOEY: He-he-he, how's it goin'?
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Joey: Well be there.
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
Joey: Hey. (He exits)
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Joey: 4:30.
Joey: Uh, 10:30.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
Joey: She was kidding about that right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Dude, I dont know.
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Monica: So big deal, so Joeys had a lot of girlfriends, it doesnt mean hes great in bed.
JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
Joey: Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parkers a nice guy and Id like to get to know him.
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey goes up to the bar to order.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Joey: So what are you gonna do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Joey: (Voice Over) Previously on Friends.
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
Joey: Come on! Who has the biggest boobs?
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
JOEY: Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: Dont answer that.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Joey: Awful! Horrible!
Joey: (opening the door) And there you go!
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
JOEY: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
[Joey walks up helping Chandler.]
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Joey: Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet.
Chandler and Joey: Hey!!
Joey: Okay, done.
[Scene: The rest stop, Joey is making a sign.]
Joey: (sleepily) Yeah, she is. Wow! (Falls back asleep, loudly) How you doin?
Joey: But youre spittin all over me man!
Joey: That's a... pla-an.
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Joey: I-I cant handle this, you guys.
Rachel: Really Joey?
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Joey: (pause) What?
Joey: (pause) What?
Joey: Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Joey: Yeah, and not put us in the middle.