words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Joey: (to Phoebe) Look at you. Since when do you roller blade?
Joey: Cool.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: I discovered Im able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Joey: Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so.
Joey: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure weve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Joey: All right, you got it.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women.
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Joey: These little women. Wow!
Joey: Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jos manuscript. I dont see how he could ever forgive her.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
(He puts his leg up on the couch to get the quarter, once again exposing himself to Chandler and Ross. In horror, Chandler, slides over and leans against Joey on the couch.)
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Joey: Hey Robert, could you ah, ha, pass me those cookies?
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
Robert: (to Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
Joey: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining?
Joey: Oooh, the next parts the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Rachel: Joey! I cant believe you just did that!
Joey: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad.
(Joey recoils and gasps in horror.)
Joey: Beth, Beth dies?
Joey: Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die?
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Joey: Then why would you say that?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
Joey: Beth is really, really sick.
Joey: Jos there, but I dont think theres anything she could do.
Rachel: Joey?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (nodding his head) Okay.
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Age?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: What is it? Hey!
Joey: Rach come on, what?
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: My God.
Rachel: Joey.
Joey: All right! All right! Uh, umm, Super-Speedy Speed round!
(Joey is stunned.)
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?
Joey: No.
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: I guess.
Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey! You cant. Okay? Ever!
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Joey: Felicity and I, were watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "Im never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think Im just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: No.
Ross: Joey proposed to you?