words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)
Joey: (Holding a turkey leg) Theres gravy?
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Joey: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Joey: Look, you guys have been to every play Ive ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage?
Joey: Noooo!!
Joey: Hey Mon! Want some pancakes?
Joey: Yep! Grab a plate.
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
Joey: No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin closer.
Joey: Listen also were uh, were watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over.
Joey: Oh yeah, whos playing?
Joey: All right Pheebs, stick out your plate!
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Joey: Come here.
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Joey: Oh-ooh, thats the turn-on.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
Joey: What the heck is that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Joey: Dude, tell me she actually told you this.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! Theres a lot of theories that didnt pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Joey: Okay, for next time, what do you say?
Joey: Whats ready?
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Joey: Oh yeah!
Joey: Howd it go?
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
Joey: Actually we prepared performances.
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
Joey: Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Joey: Hey! Rachel: Congratulations! Wow!!
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention?
Joey: No.
Joey: Cool!
Joey: Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Continued from earlier.]
Joey: There it is, you're blushing!
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
Joey: Thank you. (he sits down)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Joey and Emma are there.]
Joey: Damn it! (he leaves)
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Joey: What's up?
Joey: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
Joey: (sounds disappointed) Oh.
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
(Joey walks up to Cecilia Monroe who plays Jessica.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Joey: You still here?
(Joey comes out of his room)
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
Joey: But it's an original Buffay...
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Joey: Now, what do you say?
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
Joey: And?... AND?
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
JOEY: Ha-ha. [Scott leaves] Are all you processors dorks?
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
Joey: You're mean!
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
Joey: Gladys?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: What's going on?
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
[Chandler and Joey enter]
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Joey: What's going on?
Joey: Guys!?
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
Joey: Guys? Everything ok? It's me, Joe...
(cut to Joey on the other side, who finally leaves the door and goes to his apartment)
Joey: Everything doesn't sound fine!
Joey: You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me!
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.
(Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: Ok, ok! (He leaves)
Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert!
Joey: I forgot my bat.
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Laura: Joey, wait!
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: LAURA! (and points to her, very confident)
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Joey: Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths!
(Joey gets up and look annoyed)
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know youre mad, but I just want to say Im sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Yknow? I mean, yknow how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
Joey: Oh.
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
Joey: Yeah, they're great seats too!
Joey: Center ice.
(Ross and Joey enter)
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
Joey: So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time.