words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: Guggly worm.
Joey: Glow-pop giggly jammer.
Joey: (examining it) Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year. (Monica drops the sandwich)
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Joey: Gettin drunk and going to a strip club.
Joey: Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (entering) Hey-hey!
Joey: Oh my God, you guys have no idea.
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Monica: Oh wait, Joey, you cant go like that! You stink!
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
[cut back to Chandler and Joeys.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
Joey: (rushing in) Hey! Joey Tribbiani! Im here! Im here!
Joey: Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip!
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Joey: No-no, its uh, its Heston.
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Joey: Really, a shower huh? And uh, which-which room might that be?
Joey: Interesting.
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Joey: How ya doin?
Joey: I guess you wouldnt believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Charlton Heston: Joey, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah.
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
Joey: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Joey: Yeah, all right. (Ross enters.)
Joey: What?
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Joey: Really?
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Joey: No plans, huh?
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Angela: Hi, Joey.
Joey: My god, Angela.
Joey: You look good.
Joey: You don't say.
Angela: (casually) Joey.
Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.
Joey: What?
Angela: Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.
Joey: What?
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Yep.
Joey: Which what?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is getting pointers on how to play Jessica Lockhart.]
Joey: No, but he's...
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
Joey: Oh my god.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Joey: What?
Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.
Joey: Come on, they're close.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...
Joey: Hi-hi, Im Joey.
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.
(Monica and Joey enter.)
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?
Joey: Excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Joey: Whadja think?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Joey: Who's Rick?
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out!
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Joey: (He just sits there, legs very close together with a painful look on his face) Soldier down!
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Joey: Whaddya think? Today's the big day!
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Joey: Me?
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Nope.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: My mom will.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: I got fired.
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Joey: Hi everyone.
Joey: What's up man?
Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?