words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Joey: Whoa, I didnt know we could date your sister!
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Monica: Joey we know you steal our food.
(Joey offers them some potato chips.)
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Joey: Yeah you got 5 years left!
Chandler: Joey
Joey: You wanna make it 6?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Joey: (crying) You didnt cry when Bambis mother died?
Joey: Come on man theres gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy?
Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me."
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
Joey: Movies?
Joey: (laughs) I dont think so.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.
(Joey and Ross exchange looks.)
Joey: Sort of
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Joey: Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!
(Upon hearing this, Joey cant turn his chair around fast enough and knocks it over.)
Joey: Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh no, not you too!
Joey: Nice!
Joey: Thats great, but isnt it gonna bother that people still think youre a porn star?
Joey: You do?
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Joey: Yeah.
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Joey: Tribbiani.
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Joey: It is.
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
JOEY: Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over.
Joey: Oh, just had a baby.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
(They realize the implication of their behavior, stop instantly and head for his bedroom. In the meanwhile, Joey is starring at Rachel in a seductive way.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Ho-ho-ho, (pausing for a rest next to the fridge) fried stuff with cheese!
Joey: Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
Joey: All right. But if you werent my best friend.
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
Ginger: Joey I can see you okay? Youre hiding behind the coats.
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Joey: He doesn't do much, does he?
Joey: Oh, just, y'know.... science.
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Joey: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.
Monica: Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
Chandler: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)
Joey: (sigh)... It's a fertility study.
Joey: Oh, OK.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question.
Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: The country?
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.
Joey: Listen, buddy, we're just looking out for you.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
(Long pause... Joey looks confused.)
Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.
Joey: Not following you.
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Then you do. Heh, heh.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
Joey: He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait.
Joey: The country.
Joey: Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research.
Joey: Okay, may I see the comics?
Joey: How do you mean?
Joey: Sure! Why not?
(Joey starts to kiss her.)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Shhhh!
(Joey looks down at Lydia.)
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Joey: Heh, heh. It was nothin'.
Joey: She's still asleep.
Joey: (panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?
Joey: (aside to Ross) So.... back to your place...you thinking, maybe... (gestures with hands, back and forth) huh-huh?
Joey: I know! Neither did I!
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Joey: Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Joey: Seven hundred bucks!
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Joey: Um, this?
Joey: What up?!
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Joey: (reaches for hi scones) My scones.
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: Can we see her?