words in movies
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
[Joey enters]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Why?
Joey: You can pee here!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Joey: Oh, I know...
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Joey: Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
Joey: Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho!
Joey: Ah. Hm. (To Kathy) Wanna go to bed?
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Joey: (opening bedroom door) Hey, that coupon expires, you know.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Well...
Joey: Nope.
(Joey looks satisfied)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Joey: ALL FOOD!
Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape?
Joey: Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs?
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Joey: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!!
Joey: And starting to think about settling down!
Joey: (now laughing a little) Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that.
Joey: Oh, that looks great! Good ordering!
Joey: Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
Joey: Oh (grinning, trying to hold in his impatience with her) okay.. (she takes her hand back)
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom.
Joey: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?
Joey: I can see why, nice shirt!
Joey: (Visibly annoyed) NOW look what you did!!
Joey: WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Joey: Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake.
Joey: That's fire. Beats everything.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. No problem.
Joey: Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.
Joey: Oh, all right, I'll just have what she's having instead.
Joey: (laughing) Really?
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Joey: Why, just a tiny little...
Joey: (to the torte) Stop staring at me!
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Yknow now its like things are different.
Joey: I'm not even sorry.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Ooh... Not so good.
Joey: Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse.
Joey: Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard.
Joey: Hey Chandler, while you were sleeping that guy from your old job called again.
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah...
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Joey: (clearly shocked) What?
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Joey: What the hell are you doin'?
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: It's Joey.
Joey: Oooooh!
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It’s not about a few fries... it’s about what the fries represent.
Joey: Guest.
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Joey: Everyday use.
(from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey")
JOEY: Yeah.� Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee.
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
Joey: I'm really sorry you guys.
Joey: Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong.
Joey: You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
Joey: Hey guys!
Joey: Seriously?
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Joey: A spoon. Your hands. Your face!
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Ketchup!
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Relish!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: A rock, a dog, the earth.
Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? (Quietly) She-she-she's hurting me.
Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!
Joey: Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Chickens?
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.