words in movies
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
[Cut to Ross at the kiddie table. He reaches for something and a fart noise emanates which causes the kids to laugh.]
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
Chandler: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
Ross: Hey. When you guys were kids and you played Happy Days, who were you? I was always Richie.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...
JOEY: I figure my character has kids.
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Chandler: Hey, kids.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Joey: Hey, kids...
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Joey: There y'go, kids.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
Joey: Come on! Youre good with kids. Theyre just crazy on Halloween. Yknow, theyre all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Chandler: Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mineby plucking the eyebrows of my father and his �business� partners.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
[a rush of kids enter]
KIDS: Ooohhh.
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
ROB: And you know why? Because you told the truth, and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible.
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
Chandler: Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. (Rachel sits down to hear Chandler's dream.)
FRIEND: Well, you kids take the train in?
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
ROSS: You hated me when we were kids?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
CHANDLER: Weird world. Your kids?
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
ROSS: Alright you kids, bye now.
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
ROSS: Yeah, c'mon I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just foolin' around. Like when, uh, when we were kids.
Ross: Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy!
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Dr Green: You kids ready?
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Alice: Yeah. Y'know we-we talked about just living together, but um, we want to have kids right away.
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure youre ready for that?
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
MONICA: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
Chandler: Oh, so youre already doing your part for the kids.
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Mr. Burgin: So, have you kids eaten yet?
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Chandler: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa-whoa! We're having kids?!
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
Rachel: What?! You say that to kids?!!
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
Kara: So how do you kids like your coffee?
Phoebe: (quietly) Sells drugs to kids.
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
Alice: No-no-no, no, its going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Yknow itll-itll be like my very own little sweatshop.