words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
MONICA and PHOEBE: Hey.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
MONICA: Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute.
MONICA: Well, he's my parents' best friend, he has to be there.
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
MONICA: Happy birthday dad.
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]
MONICA: Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom.
MONICA: Are we still on that?
FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
MONICA: I'm a twinkie.
MONICA: Oh, this is so hard.
MONICA: Maybe we should just tell your parents first.
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
MONICA: Alright.
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]
MONICA: Hey there.
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
MONICA: Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
MONICA: Mom, it's OK.
MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.
MONICA: Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . .
MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
MONICA: Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see.
MONICA: No he went out to get pizza.
RACHEL: Oh really, OK. [shows Monica her tattoo]
MONICA: That's great.
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Monica: NOW!!!!!!!! (Rachel runs off and Monica gets up to follow her.)
Monica: Hey! Good, youre home!
Monica: Ross!
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
Dream Monica: Yes! You are so smart! (Kisses him.) I love you.
Monica: Oh my God! Thats great! Oh wow! (Hugs him.) Youre a published writer! I wish I had a present for you!
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
Monica: He hates to lose.
Monica: Oh my God! (Laughing)
MONICA: Joey that is horriable.
Ross: Monica couldnt tell time til she was 13!
Monica: It's okay. I don't care. It's uh, it's fine.
Monica: Its hard for some people!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
Monica and Rachel: (less than enthused) Great.
Monica: No!
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Ohh, absolutely.
Monica: Yeah, definitely!
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Monica: Thats not true, there are great pictures of us!
Monica: (looking at one) Oh, heres a great one.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
The Museum Official: (To Monica) May I help you?
Monica: Or not.
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Monica: Thats it! Take it! Take it! Take it!
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
JOEY: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Monica: Umm, listen there's something I think you should know.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Monica: I dont think mine likes me either.
Joey: I know, Monica told me.
(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: What?!
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Monica: Whatever you decide, whatever you do.
Monica: Its enough for wedding scenario eight.
Monica: Good night! (They go into their respective apartments.)
Monica: Oh my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing?! What is this?!
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?
MONICA: Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future?
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Monica: Yeah, we really do!
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Monica: Aw, sometimes. Always, actually.
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
Monica: Why?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Monica and I are engaged.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: Fat?!
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack?
Monica: You-youre gonna have to put your foot down?
Monica: Okay, well, why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour?
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Monica: Its pretty clear.