words in movies
Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.
Chandler: Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Dr. Mitchell: ..you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
Monica: Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses.
Phoebe's Friends: (Finally noticing the guest of honour) Surprise!
(The party falls flat. Chandler tries to think of a witticism, but even he can't help...)
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
Dr. Mitchell: Look at this, it's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine, so how could we resist?
(Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen have concerns of their own.)
Dr. Mitchell: Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. (Baring his teeth to clean them with his finger) Go like this. (Dr. Rosen obeys.)
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
(The doctors don't know what to make of all this.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Monica: We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
(Instead of scampering, Marcel stretches his neck as much as possible, and makes an unvoiced noise from his throat.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)
(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.)
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(Rachel points out of the window.)
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Ross: Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
[Back in front of the nursery window.]
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.
Emily: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!
All: Of course well help! Yeah! Well be here!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
(Joey starts to return the fumble and Chandler grabs Joeys shirt and rips it off of his back.)
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Paul: A part of him did yes.
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Rachel: Oh! Ive got a lot of those too!
Phoebe: No! No! Its just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Mona: I think I might need one more cup of coffee.
Chandler: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didnt get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Ross: I cant think of anything.
The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop!
Megan: We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did?
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
PHOEBE: He's even kind of cute.
Joey: I have actually not heard of that.
Janine: How are we gonna get out of that one?
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.
Ross: Huh. Yknow whats not one of a kind? A twin!
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
Chandler: Look at us, were a couple of couples!
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Rachel: I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
CHANDLER: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I figured a shot yknow? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldnt think I was yknow, all dead inside.