words in movies
(Rachel comes out of her room and starts staring at him unseen)
Rachel: I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Phoebe: Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips!
Chandler: So, what do you say? Can you get out of work?
[Scene: Days of Our Lives' Studios]
Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!
Joey/Drake: Stopping you from marrying the wrong man and making the biggest mistake of your life.
Joey/Drake: Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?
3rd Customer: The musician right outside the restaurant...it's kind of a mood-killer!
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Monica: This is kind of a classy place.
[Time lapse: Phoebe in front of restaurant again]
[Scene: hall of the romantic inn in Vermont]
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Joey: Right... (pause) ok, so just from the top of the page, right here.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!
Chandlers: Dude, none of this is cool.
Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Monica: Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place.
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Monica: Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Phoebe: Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic?
Receptionist: Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay.
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
[Scene: In front of Monica's restaurant. Phoebe is playing]
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Phoebe: Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky?
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Joey: (Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Monica: (without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird...it's empty!
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
Rachel: Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, (checks watch) y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-ifare you sure there's just not anything else?
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachels room.]
Sebastian: Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Phoebe: Well, so do a lot of people.
Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is getting some coffee as Joey enters. He's looking a little puffy, but that's probably from the large number of different color sweaters he's wearing.]
Phoebe: Oh no, one of those look for the hidden meaning songs.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Ross: Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
[Back in front of the nursery window.]
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.
Emily: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!
All: Of course well help! Yeah! Well be here!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
(Joey starts to return the fumble and Chandler grabs Joeys shirt and rips it off of his back.)
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Paul: A part of him did yes.
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Rachel: Oh! Ive got a lot of those too!
Phoebe: No! No! Its just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Mona: I think I might need one more cup of coffee.
Chandler: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didnt get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Ross: I cant think of anything.
The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop!
Megan: We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did?
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
PHOEBE: He's even kind of cute.
Joey: I have actually not heard of that.