words in movies
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Kathy: No, youre my first. Put the money on the table.
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Joey: Look, you guys have been to every play Ive ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage?
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Chandler: Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there!
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
Kathy: Okay, so let me just get this straight. Youre accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
Ross: Thats all youre basing this on?
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Monica: (entering) Okay, its ready. Come on.
Ross: Well, if-if she thought they were on a break
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ross: So, what's going on now?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.]
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
Rachel: Come on! I dont want you thinking of me like that any more!
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
Joey: Chandler, come on nothing even happened!
Ross: Come on, two on one.
Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Monica: Yeah that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything!
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: Still, that really sucks, man. Especially on Valentines Day.
Phoebe: So what's going on?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.) Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Courtney: (laughing) I spit on her!
Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Joey: Im gonna be on two TV shows!
Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.
Rachel: (standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Monica: Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. (Theres a knock on the door.) Uh, just a second!
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is working on his laptop when Rachel enters with Emma.]
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]
(Someone else knocks on the door. Monica looks through the spyhole)
Ross: What's going on?
Phoebe: Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving.
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Chandler: Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table)
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Joey: Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.
Joey: Come on! You like this woman, right?
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone. Rachel walks in and overhears the conversation.]
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Joey: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going?
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
[Scene: Ross's building, Joey is knocking on a door again. It's again answered by Ross.]
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Passenger: If youre planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Monica: Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at womans breasts all the time!
Phoebe: Oh. Uh, I'm on. (picks up the phone)
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.