words in movies
Rachel: So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Joey: What do you like better action or comedy?
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs?
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?
MNCA: Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know... but, uh, I'm kind of worried about you.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Rachel: Or. We could put a hat on his head.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
ROSS: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Ross: Yay! And that takes what? Just six or seven minutes.
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Ross: Wow, Monicas letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
[Reset from before, Matt doesnt fall or look down.]
Chandler: No, Im not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Rachel: Look, either help me or go.
Phoebe: Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that hes changed his name, yknow? Tell Monica Im sorry.
Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
ROSS: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Joey: Calm down, do you want this unit or not?
Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)
Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Ross: Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat.
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Joey: Look, do you want the ring or not?!
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
EDDIE: [annoying laugh] Is this guy great or what?
Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Ross: Like em, like em? Or, Id like to get store credit for that amount like em?
CHANDLER: Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . .
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Phoebe: Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
CHANDLER: So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog.
Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!
Phoebe: North route or south route?
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Dr. Leedbetter: There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Joey: Or an uncle...
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Monica: Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Krista: We'd better take these pants off upstairs or that stain's gonna set.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
Rachel: Or?
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)