words in movies
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Emily: Weve only known each other for six weeks!
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
You don't have to be awake to be my man, As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day, There's something I have got to say...
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Chandler: Oh, and dont get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. Its just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, its making all the other guys jealous.
Rachel: Well, what is the other reason?
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Kristen: Do you two know each other?
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Pete: Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
The Other Woman: No thanks.
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Monica: Not as each other!
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Monica: That other play?
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
David: Now, we should go back and take the other line.
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
Richard: It was great seeing you the other night.
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Ross: Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Monica: Terrible. If-if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Other people just wreck stuff. I really think I might kill someone tonight.
Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
Ross: Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Phoebe: Its not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common.
RACHEL: No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?
(He shifts on the couch and a ripping sound emanates from his lower regions, the sound reminds one of a brief explosion of gas. In other words, it sounds like he farted. She has a look of horrific wonderment, wondering "Did he just fart?")
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Rachel: Look, If I dont get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But yknow on the other hand No. No, I cant. Were friends. No, oh, no. I dont want to risk what we have.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Rachel: Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.
Joey: Uh How long have we known each other?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Monica: Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.
Ross: What?! Look, were trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Ross: And! We should keep all the stuff uh, we told each other secret from everybody else.
(They run and hug each other.)
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Phoebe: Do you not know each other?
Chandler: No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake.
Ross: Yeah, Im missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
Gert: Dancing on your feet! Like the other girls did it.
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Monica: Come on...I just need it for some rent and..and some other bills.
Phoebe: Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandlers your friend... (hops onto the bed) Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill?
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Joey/Drake: So what about us? Everything we feel for each other.
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
(Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other)
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Monica: We're gonna see each other naked.
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}