words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone except Ross is there watching Days of Our Lives.]
JOEY: Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture.
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
CHANDLER: [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
Rachel: Oh my God, Le Poo, our dog!
Hotel Clerk: Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you.
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Monica: He's... our age.
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Ross: Ohh! Ohh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm!
MONICA: It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat.
Voice: (on phone) Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock for our $1,000 daily challenge.
Chandler: Were doomed. Okay, theyre gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
Ross: Anyway. Thats when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Fireman No. 2: Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.
Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these (she holds the furry handcuffs) on my pillow.
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
Rachel: Wow, oh my God, our child will be beaten to death in the schoolyard.
Chandler: Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
Monica: Count in our heads as-as good Madlibs.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Joey: But it is our apartment!
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright?
Chandler: Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
Monica: It's almost our anniversary!
Ross: Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Monica: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
Monica: This is the most special day of our lives.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding!
Dr. Ledbetter: I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Monica: All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
JOEY: Get outta here. This is our stop too.
Monica: Well, she actually has a boyfriend yknow herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Emily: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.
Mary Ellen: Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'.
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Monica: We'd be eating our soup right now.
Lauren: I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives.
Phoebe: Our apartment is ready.
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
Ross: So they said our table will be ready in just a few minutes.
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Chandler: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick!