words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but youre still going out with her!
Phoebe: Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out.
Ross: Anyway, if she, if she wasnt in to me, why-why would she ask me out again?
(Then she reaches over again and Joey moves his plate a little to the left, and she misses, then she reaches out again, and he moves his plate to the right , so she misses again. She tries a third time and this time, Joey pushes his plate so far to the left, it drops off the edge of the table)
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
Rachel: She asked-asked you out again?
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Ross: All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off.
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)
(Someone calls out from her apartment.)
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Monica: Put it out!!
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Monica: Phoebe! Put that cigarette out!
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Ross: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Mike: Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Chandler: So then I guess Ferdinad is out.
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
(He runs out and Frank watches him go.)
(They both get out of bed and go get some cake.)
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
(Chandler leaves dejectedly. When the door closes Rachel and Phoebe jump out from behind the curtains and scream )
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Monica: Thats right. Get it out of your system while were alone.
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Ross: Going out with who?
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
Larry: (notices something) I wonder how long that milk (on the counter) has been setting out.
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
(They start making out again.)
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Elizabeth: Making out in your office.
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Rachel: Thank you! (Storms out.)
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Monica: You sold me out.
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: Well, at least we got these little guys out.
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Joey: Oh yeah (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
Joey: Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Monica: (looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?
Rachel: Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. (Turns and bumps into a mounted policeman and falls) Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! (Runs off.)
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Monica: No, its okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews.
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.