words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
CAROL: My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
MINDY: Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]
MONICA: Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me.
Mackenzie: My parents say I'm gonna make new friends.
Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, okay. Well, so tell me everything about my parents. Everything.
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! Youre parents like me, right?
Monica: Thanks, Im set. Do you still live with your parents?
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
Rachel: Your parents?
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Monica: C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Chandler: We are gonna be great parents.
Ross: All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind.
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding!
Monica: My parents will be so happy.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
Rachel: Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
[Scene: Mike's parents house, the dining room. Mike, Phoebe, Mike's parents and the Angles are there.]
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Phoebe: Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO!
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Monica: Where were your parents?
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
(Just then, his parents enter. Rachel gasps.)
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Monica: Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents.
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
Emily: My parents are going to be really mad.
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
Phoebe: (no accent) I'm trying to get your parents to like me.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
[Scene: Mike's parents house again.]
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together.
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel are arriving and see his parents.]
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.