words in movies
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Phoebe: Exactly!
Phoebe: (after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!
Phoebe: Ok, that'll be great!
Rachel: Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?
[Scene: Shop, Rachel, Charlie and Phoebe walk in]
Phoebe: Oh, I'll take some of that.
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
Phoebe: Ok!
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
Phoebe: So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Who else?
Phoebe: You like Joey?
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Phoebe: (whispering) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?
[Scene: Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are talking in front of the dressing room]
Phoebe: Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.
(Phoebe moves in the dressing room from which Charlie went out)
Phoebe: (sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Phoebe: (comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.
Phoebe: Ooh! We have a problem.
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
Phoebe: Good plan.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Rachel: Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Phoebe: David?
David: Phoebe! Hi!
Phoebe: Oh my God! (they hug)
Phoebe: Yeah. What-what are you doing here?
Phoebe: What happened?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Well, it's great that you're back! How are you?
Phoebe: Good!
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Phoebe: Mike and I broke up.
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: I understand. Yeah. Ok so then ok, so we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone. That's so not like us!
Phoebe: Well... (pause) no.
Phoebe: I'd love to.
Phoebe: Ok. (they walk away together)
Phoebe: Oh, got it, stay upwind of me.
(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,
Phoebe: Yknow you, you just stop being such a wuss and get those off and you come with us and watch naked girls dance around!!
Phoebe: No-no wait-wait! I cant just let you hang up! Just please talk to me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe, back to reality, are sitting in normal clothes.]
PHOEBE: Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Phoebe: That's fun. (She exits disappointedly.)
PHOEBE: What when Yeller saves saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?
Phoebe: What? Youll hi-ya?
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
Phoebe: Hey, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
Rachel: Bloomingdales eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Jason: So Phoebe, you ah, sounded kinda serious on the phone, is ah, is anything wrong?
Phoebe: (singing) Hold me close, young Tony Dan-za.
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
Phoebe: Oh that tart... floozy... giant...
Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you cant talk to Rachel.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Phoebe: (not smiling) That's not good.
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
[Scene: Outside the restaurant, Melissa, Phoebe, and Rachel are emerging.]
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Phoebe: Feburary 16th.
Phoebe: Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I havent been able to say two words to each other.
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters carrying the horrific 'painting' of Gladys. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: I know that, but look, we've got the Powerball number, we've won 3 dollars!
Phoebe: Sure. It's just as well... I mean, last year wasn't very good. I think she's losing her touch.
Phoebe: What if I had taken that job at Merrill Lynch?
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So umm, how-how are we gonna mess with them?
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Phoebe: No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Phoebe: A chin dimple!
Phoebe: Well, I guess they�re not coming. You wanna just order?
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables, Joey?
Phoebe: Yeah, oh, Princess Leia and the gold bikini, every guy our age loved that.
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts running crazily with her arms flapping and her legs far apart) Come on! That's not running! Let's go! (Rachel pauses, then follows, embarrassed.)
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could baby-sit again.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: (getting up) Well, I hate to eat and run, but
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
PHOEBE: (knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike.� Bye.
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Phoebe: Its not kicking me, its kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Dont make me come in there!
Phoebe: No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravaganza.
Monica: Ok fine. I'll handle this. (goes to Phoebe who's talking to Rachel) Phoebe?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Phoebe: Hey! Ive got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyones names in them and inside is everyones individual birth stone.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Phoebe: (still laughing) No. (points to Rachel who stuck two straws in her mouth to look like a mammoth's tusks)
Phoebe: (with a fancy dress, still playing and singing): It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are cautiously serving Phoebe some tea.]
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Phoebe: Not with that attitude! Now, haul ass!
[Scene: The park, Rachel's running by herself and panting. After a little while she decides to run like Phoebe.]
Phoebe: If you wanted to punish them, you shouldve just made them hang out here!
Phoebe: Mon', not that you didn�t sound good, but...
Phoebe: Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one!
Phoebe: Noo!
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?
Phoebe: Oh. Oh! Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica is nonchalantly "minding her own business".]
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!