words in movies
CHANDLER: All right. (reading her answer) "My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married!
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
Joey: Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.
Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.
Ross: (reading the newspaper) Hey, heres a question; where did you guys get the finest oak East of the Mississippi?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Monica: (reading the sign) Whats pleh?
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Rachel: What are you reading?
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's reading a newspaper. Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Joey: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure weve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know.
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Chandler: (reading it) Elizabeth Hornswoggle?
Isabella: (reading it) Im not on the list!
Monica: Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.
Joey: Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die?
Phoebe: (she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Rachel: I'm not reading this!
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here�s a question: "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Rachel: (reading the resume) And you were at this job for four years?
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Phoebe: (reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Rachel: (reading a tag) This one is uh Paul ONeil.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading a magazine as Tim enters.]
Phoebe: (reading the certificate) Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31.
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Rachel: (reading the note) "Pheebs, cant make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." (Laughs) Big Daddy?
PHOE: OK. [reading] The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction...
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is reading and Monica runs over and turns on the lamp behind Phoebe.]
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Monica: (reading) Oh dear God!
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He walks in reading his mail, and plays back his messages on the answering machine]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headacheHeadache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I dont recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh Im sorry, extra strength death capsules!
Chandler (reading the newspaper): Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: All right. (reading the label) Candy and Cookie?
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.]
Monica: When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic!
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
Rachel: Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream...
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Chandler: (reading) I don’t... uh... understand.
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.