words in movies
(from 1.01 - "The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate - The Pilot")
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
PHOEBE: Why don't you play with your roommate?
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Ross: (angrily) Whos your roommate?
EDDIE: It's Eddie you freak, your roommate.
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
Rachel: Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first yknow roommate bonding thing.
CHANDLER: April 18th, excessive noise. Italian guy's gay roommate comes home with the dry-cleaning. Well that's excellent.
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Chandler: Im never gonna find a roommate, ever.
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Joey: Im gonna miss you, youre the hottest roommate I ever had.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? Were on a date.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey has The Potential Roommate back for another interview.]
Joey: (opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
The Potential Roommate: Fight.
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
The Potential Roommate: Hi!
The Potential Roommate: Great!
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Phoebe: Well, you could use your position y'know as the roommate.
The Potential Roommate: Oh dont worry, Im not really a party girl.
Chandler: Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
The Potential Roommate: Kitten?
CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you.
Rachel: Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.
Phoebe: My roommate.
Monica: Hey, did you pick a roommate?
Rachel: You have a roommate?!
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate?
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
Chandler: Youll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this.
Phoebe: Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you?
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Rachel: Yeah, actually thats my roommates.
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
[Joey enters with his new roommate who is played by none other than Elle MacPherson.]
Ross: Just ah just put roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
RACHEL: It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate.
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
Joey: Hey everybody! Uh, I'd like you to meet Janine. She's-she's gonna be my new roommate!
CHANDLER: I, I'm sorry, I uh [unchains the door and opens it all the way] I already have a roommate. [Joey turns around in the leather recliner]
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
The Potential Roommate: String?
Eric: Hi, Im Eric, Im gonna be Chandlers new roommate.
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
Joey: Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Hayley's roommate: Hey Hayley you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey!
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Monica: Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Yknow I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but yknow Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.
Chandler: Cool, girl roommate.