words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Ross: Five.
Ross: Challenge extended.
Ross: Challenge excepted.
Ross: Well be starting with apples.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
(Ross reveals a bag of apples.)
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
Ross: No-no-no, I-I wanna play.
Ross: The test is ready.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
(Ross flips the coin again.)
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Ross: That is correct.
Ross: Gentlemen, youre pick.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Ross: Althea is correct.
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Ross: Im afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Ross: You dont have to shout everything.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: Thirty seconds, all the questions you can answer.
Ross: 150 dollars.
Ross: 200 dollars.
Ross: Excuse me.
Ross: All right, gentlemen, youre up first.
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Ross: Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Ross: Two seconds
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Ross: No, 19.
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Ross: What happened?!!
Ross: No touch! No touch!
Ross: I think that would be best.
Ross: Okay. But not about this!
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
RACHEL: (lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah."� (Clears throat.)� "Me too."
Ross: No! No we dont!
Ross: Ive had better.
Ross: Because its weird!
Ross: We cant do it again.
Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.
Ross: Sure, what do you got?
Ross: No, 10 is the highest.
Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel.
Ross: Go!
Ross: Yeah, it really was!
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
Ross: Im sorry Rach, it was, it was really close.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Ross: Actually, it wasnt that close.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Ross: That is one good looking man!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent for some unknown reason.)
Ross: It really was.
Ross: Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
Ross: A lot of other gas smells
Ross: Okay, okay take a guess.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Ross: Who wants to make some long distance calls?
Ross: Thats interesting, but check this out. I date her
Chandler: (To Ross) Why to save your dignity my man.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Ross: Is-isnt it the best?
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Ross: And somebody took a shot at me!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
Ross: Hey! So uh, was he excited about the tickets?
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Ross: I am very very sorry.
Ross: -she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Ross: (entering) Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
Ross: What? You forgot fourteen states?
Ross: It tastes like feet!
[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
Ross: Youre great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.
Ross: What? That's impossible.
Ross: Done! With time a-to-spare.
Ross: You have to respect the sea! (Storms off.)
ROSS: Well, ya know, someone should have called me.
Ross: You're on!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Monica are fighting over the remote.]
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Ross: Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: It's too cold.
Ross: Are you out of your mind?
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Ross: Damn, I forgot you were here.
Ross: YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.