words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Ross: Five.
Ross: Challenge extended.
Ross: Challenge excepted.
Ross: Well be starting with apples.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
(Ross reveals a bag of apples.)
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
Ross: No-no-no, I-I wanna play.
Ross: The test is ready.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
(Ross flips the coin again.)
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Ross: That is correct.
Ross: Gentlemen, youre pick.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Ross: Althea is correct.
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Ross: Im afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Ross: You dont have to shout everything.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: Thirty seconds, all the questions you can answer.
Ross: 150 dollars.
Ross: 200 dollars.
Ross: Excuse me.
Ross: All right, gentlemen, youre up first.
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Ross: Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Ross: Two seconds
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Ross: No, 19.
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome!
Ross: You know, we should just go, I’m not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!
Ross: Wow!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Ross: Really?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Ross: Uh thats an eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta.
Ross: Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me.
Ross: Come on, Im your older brother, ask me!
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Charlie: Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Ross: You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace.
Ross: (interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!
Ross: Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Ross and Rachel: Ohh! Ew!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Joey: (shouting to Ross) JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
(Ross puts the piece back on the plate)
Ross: Food.
Ross: Forty-five minutes.
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Ross: What's going on?
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal.
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Ross: No, 19.
Ross: Two seconds...
Ross: Don’t blame the questions!
Ross: What the hell are doing?!!
Ross: Still sharp as a tack!
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
(Chandler is getting ready to kick off, Ross is holding the ball between his foot and finger.)
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!
Ross: Really? Which one?
Ross: Except for "Match game"...
Ross: Yes please.
Ross: Dude. You're married to my sister.
Ross: Boss!
Ross: She's gone.
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Chandler and Ross: Way!
Ross: Hey, Missy...
Ross: You got it.
Ross: Those are the pacts!
Ross: Oh, oh... maybe not you!
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Ross: Great!
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Ross: Yeah, why?
Ross: You did?
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Ross: Too little, too late, Benji!
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Ross: I guess if everybody else is...
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago!
Ross: No.
Ross: NO!
Ross: You broke the pact!
Ross: I didn't.
Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about.
Ross: I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Ross: We are even, right?
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Ross: (entering) Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!