words in movies
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
(Feeling a little better, Ross fetches more coffee.)
Ross: Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
Ross: Tonight.
Ross: You take your time.
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
(Ross is so startled that he throws his arms up to defend himself. The box takes off, then lands with a squishy thud, its contents oozing out onto the floor. Ross is not pleased.)
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush.
(The whole party gathers round as Ross puts the box on the coffee table.)
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Ross: (Still annoyed) Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
Ross: Oh, we just...
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Ross: No, no, Dad, I was just wondering.
Ross: Thanks, Dad, really, I ju... you know, I just, I just needed to know, um... when did you start to feel like a father?
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Ross: No, we can go to Williamsburg.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.
Ross: Maybe not.
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Well did you try calling her?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Do you have a point?
Ross: It's just a fur ball.
Ross: Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'.
Ross: I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Ross: He looks so tiny.
Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.
(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Ross: No, why?
(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.)
Ross: (Quietly) hey, fella! How you doing?
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Ross: Aqui est�. (Here it is!)
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Ross: �Lo que sucedio es que no le gusta la tele! (The thing is, he doesn`t like the program!)
Ross: Hey, hows it going?
Ross: Nono, she's gone.
Ross: We know you took so just-just save yourself the time and confess!
Monica: Ross, just forget about it. This guys got you totally wedged in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Ross: Ah! (She hugs him.) Well uh-uh, t-take it downstairs, yknow give it a test ride.
Ross: What? (the cat jumps on his shoulders) Ow!
Ross: Oh my God..
Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Ross: Yeah, just... just Nana stuff.
Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
All: God! Ross!
Ross: What, what is it?
Ross: No.
Ross: ...Chandler!
Ross: (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Ross: Got me.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Ross: There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Ross: You're wrong.
Ross: No, they're not.
Ross: You're wrong.
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
(Ross comes back to the couch.)
Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.
Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldnt look so bright.
Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.
Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?
Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?
Ross: Do you uh, do you talk about me?
Ross: Really?
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
(Ross runs out too.)
Ross: That's closer.
(Ross exits.)
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: (she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.
Ross: No-no its not. What-what happened there Ned?
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
Rachel: Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser!
(Ross enters, singing.)
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Ross: No, us having to lie about being married.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: One more time, "Hey, dont you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"
Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: Four.
Ross: Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now.
Ross: Really.
Ross: No.
Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Ross: You're gonna be an aunt.
Ross: Im-Im gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
(Ross is still taking photos)
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Ross: So how'd it go?
(Inside the apartment the phone rings.� Ross answers it.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: You can live with me.
Ross: Oh, please...
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is absent.]