words in movies
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
(Feeling a little better, Ross fetches more coffee.)
Ross: Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
Ross: Tonight.
Ross: You take your time.
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
(Ross is so startled that he throws his arms up to defend himself. The box takes off, then lands with a squishy thud, its contents oozing out onto the floor. Ross is not pleased.)
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush.
(The whole party gathers round as Ross puts the box on the coffee table.)
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Ross: (Still annoyed) Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
Ross: Oh, we just...
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Ross: No, no, Dad, I was just wondering.
Ross: Thanks, Dad, really, I ju... you know, I just, I just needed to know, um... when did you start to feel like a father?
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Ross: No, we can go to Williamsburg.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.
Ross: Maybe not.
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Well did you try calling her?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Do you have a point?
Ross: It's just a fur ball.
Ross: Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'.
Ross: I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Ross: He looks so tiny.
Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.
(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Ross: No, why?
(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.)
Ross: (Quietly) hey, fella! How you doing?
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Ross: Aqui est�. (Here it is!)
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Ross: �Lo que sucedio es que no le gusta la tele! (The thing is, he doesn`t like the program!)
Ross: What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay?
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: What? No! No, Im not stopping. Im Red Ross!
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Ross: Thats what you said last night.
Ross: Hot dog?
Ross: Hey! How long until Petes fight?
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Ross: No, I-Im saying I liked her.
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Ross: Oh, somebodys feeling better.
Ross: Oh I a lot of stuff!
(We see Ross and Bonnie laughing and having a good time.)
Joey: (startled) Yeah, okay but look, buy uhHey-hey, yknow, yknow who else I like? You! And it-it doesnt get said enough. I like you Ross.
ROSS: Well, why're you all dressed up?
ROSS: No, no, let me finish.
ROSS: Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Rachel: (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees its Ross) Ugh!!!
Ross: Thats too bad.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
ROSS: I don't know.
Ross: Go, go, go!
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Ross: Get away!
Rachel: Take it like a man, Ross!
ROSS: Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away.
Ross: Stay away!
Ross: Ow! Ow! Oh, no-no-no!
Ross: Hey!
ROSS: What, woah, woah, $3500 at porcelain safari?
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth (Talking into Chandler's ear.) Hornswoggle.
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Ross: (looking at ticket) Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Ross: Good morning.
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Ross: Hi.
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Ross: Im sorry Im late, did I miss anything?
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: What?
Ross: What?!
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
ROSS: Hi Tushie.
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Ross: Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.
Ross: Chandlers gone again!
Ross: Um, you know, just out of curiosity...
Ross: Good night.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about.
Ross: Pa-haa!! I would love to go with you.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Ross: (surprised) Hi!
Ross: I know.
Ross and Chandler: Its my joke.
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Yeah? All right I'll call the airlines. (Picks up the phone and does so)
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Ross: Its over.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Rosss legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
Ross: Im sorry.
Ross: Done!
Ross: Oh, sure! Im sure.
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]
Ross: Awww.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Ross: Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What happened?
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Ross: (angrily) Whos your roommate?
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)