words in movies
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
(Feeling a little better, Ross fetches more coffee.)
Ross: Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
Ross: Tonight.
Ross: You take your time.
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
(Ross is so startled that he throws his arms up to defend himself. The box takes off, then lands with a squishy thud, its contents oozing out onto the floor. Ross is not pleased.)
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush.
(The whole party gathers round as Ross puts the box on the coffee table.)
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Ross: (Still annoyed) Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
Ross: Oh, we just...
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Ross: No, no, Dad, I was just wondering.
Ross: Thanks, Dad, really, I ju... you know, I just, I just needed to know, um... when did you start to feel like a father?
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Ross: No, we can go to Williamsburg.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.
Ross: Maybe not.
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Well did you try calling her?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Do you have a point?
Ross: It's just a fur ball.
Ross: Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'.
Ross: I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Ross: He looks so tiny.
Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.
(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
Ross: No, why?
(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.)
Ross: (Quietly) hey, fella! How you doing?
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Ross: Aqui est�. (Here it is!)
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Ross: �Lo que sucedio es que no le gusta la tele! (The thing is, he doesn`t like the program!)
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God...
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Ross: I don't think so.
Ross: Still-still, let me come... for me.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Ross: Okay, here we go...
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Ross: Yeah...
Ross: Huh?
Ross: Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me.
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Ross: No, I don't think so.
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
Rachel: Ross...
Ross: THE HELL I DO!
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: Mona umm Clickclocken. The famous botanist? Huh? Oh no shes uhwell shes dead now. No, supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world.
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Ross: Rach!
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't...
Ross: Rach!
Rachel: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really.(She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Who's laughing now?
Ross: Oh. This was amazing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
(Ross enters.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh, we, y'know, we worked things out.
Ross: Is Rachel here?
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: I know, it's pretty great.
Ross: Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Shhh!
Ross: Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not.
Ross: Hey. How did you sleep?
Ross: So...
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Ross: Morning.
Ross: Good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Ross: It really was.
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Ross: What?
Ross: No way!
Ross: Nothing! What do you say to that?
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Ross: You really think so?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: What? What?
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Joey: Ross, wait!
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
Ross: Oh my God!
(Ross is shocked.)
Ross: I'm not getting you a muffin!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: No, and I'm not going to.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Ross: (high pitched voice) Check again please!
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Ross: Oh my God! You did that yourself?
Ross: Oh my God!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Oh my God.
Rachel: I will. Ross, come here.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Neither will I.
Ross: I don't! I wanna be with her.
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna go after her.
Ross: My coat...
Ross: Ah, what good are you. (Walks back to his map dejectedly.)
(Phoebe and Ross leave.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Okay, guys, wish me luck.
Ross: No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab.
(Ross looks terrified.)
Ross: Alright, alright, let's do this!
Ross: (screaming) Get out of the cab!
Ross: What?
(Ross opens his eyes.)
Ross: Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down!
Ross: Okay!