words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought Id take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Ross: Its a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Ross: Whew! That was a brisk ride!
Ross: Only way to fly.
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Ross: What?! (Checks his hair.) Give-give me a brush.
Ross: No way!
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
(Suddenly from out of nowhere Ross dives onto the hood.)
Ross: What do you think youre doing?!
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Ross: In the death seat?!!
[Scene: The Porsche, Rachel is driving along a highway and Ross has finally moved to the death seat and is terrified.]
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
Ross: Who?
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Ross: Maybe its uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)
Ross: Good evening officer.
Ross: Ah no. I dont, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
(Theres a pause as Ross gets suddenly flirtatious.)
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Ross: (laughs) You dont-you dont want to hear about my dream Officer Pretty?
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Ross: I know. I know.
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth (Talking into Chandler's ear.) Hornswoggle.
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Ross: (looking at ticket) Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Ross: Good morning.
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Ross: Hi.
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Ross: Im sorry Im late, did I miss anything?
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: What?
Ross: What?!
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
ROSS: Hi Tushie.
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Ross: Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.
Ross: Chandlers gone again!
Ross: Um, you know, just out of curiosity...
Ross: Good night.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about.
Ross: Pa-haa!! I would love to go with you.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Ross: (surprised) Hi!
Ross: I know.
Ross and Chandler: Its my joke.
Ross: OK, I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Yeah? All right I'll call the airlines. (Picks up the phone and does so)
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Ross: Its over.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Rosss legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
Ross: Im sorry.
Ross: Done!
Ross: Oh, sure! Im sure.
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]
Ross: Awww.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Ross: Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What happened?
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Ross: (angrily) Whos your roommate?
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross and Rachel: Come on!
Ross: What happened? Joey?
Ross: (in ecstasy) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh .
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Ross: Ross has the blender! Ugh, everything's just falling apart!
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Ross: That is correct.
Ross: I missed you too.
Ross: Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there?
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
ROSS: I think we proved our point.
Ross: I fell asleep!
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
Ross: Whos Chip?
Ross: Im kinda beat.
Joey: That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!
Ross: Okay, you dont have to stop, Im invisible, Im not here. (lights a candle)
Ross: What the hell happened on that beach?!
Ross: Well ah, actually...
Ross: Oh, Im sure.
Ross: Why? Did you write it?
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Im reading your ad.
Ross: Whoa, hey! What are doing? Trying to get me drunk?
ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
Ross: Good, so do I
Ross: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Ross: Ohhhhh!