words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Monica: How many fingers am I holding up? (She's not holding any up.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Rachel: Oh! (She's trying to recover while still on the floor.)
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Chandler: Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Ross: What? She's gonna eat all those cookies?
Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)
Carol: Yes, and she's very supportive.
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Rachel: For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Joey: Uhh, well, she's really good in bed.
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
(She's getting closer to him, the scene fades to black.)
Monica: I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met.
Ross: Rach, she's not going to remember this.
Rachel: Oh gosh, she's going to kill me.
DR. BURKE: Ya know, she's having another baby.
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
Ross: Now she's passed.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Ross: Nono, she's gone.
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Phoebe: (Automatically) Yeah. Oooh... (she's sprung.)
Joey: C'mon, she's your mom!
Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
Chandler: (Picks up the "Miss Congeniality" DVD) She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Monica: So she's a woman! So what?
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Teacher: She's your partner.
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
Joey: She's still asleep.
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!
Joey: Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second.
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
(After she's left, Ross gets really happy and starts kissing the card. Suddenly, she returns.)
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Ross: Monica's crying. She's very upset about this whole Clunkers thing.
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Rachel: Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)
CHANDLER: Whoa, she's pretty.
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
RACHEL: She's still with you?
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?
JOEY: She's comin'.
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Chandler: (to himself) Too bad, she's leaving.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Monica: She's m-i-i-ne!
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor..
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
Joey: I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)
Chandler: Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.
Phoebe: Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog!
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
ROSS: No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . .
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
Ross: She's not even here yet.
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
Joey: Yeah, she's gonna live with me!
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...