words in movies
Phoebe: (she enters) Hey...
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!
Rachel: (angrily) GIVE ME THE BOOK! (she takes it and start reading) Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.]
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Monica: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Phoebe: Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours!
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Chandler: She?
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Phoebe: I cant!! I cant!! (She dies.) Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) So um, who was she?
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.
Chandler: Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: Ross! Phoebes gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Phoebe: All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)
CHANDLER: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in.
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
Monica: Nope, shes perfect.
Phoebe: What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh (starts dialing).
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
(She starts to go upstairs.)
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Monica: Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there.
(She boards the plane.)
Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Rachel: Yes! (she starts creeping up on him)
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Chandler: She has a real name.
Kate: And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach!
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Chandler: Well, cause she came back the third summer and shed gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Emily: Oh. (Shes shocked and hugs him.) Thank you. (She boards the plane.)
Rachel: What is she doing here?
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
[She turns him facing the toilet and sneaks out of the stall and gathers up his clothes.]
ROSS: Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinkin' when she sees you tomorow, she's probably gonna realize, "hey, you're not Bob."
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
Monica: Well, why would she lie to you?
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Rachel: You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?!
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
Joey: Is she great or what?
Dr. Miller: 1 2! (She flinches again.) (Gives up.) Y'know what? You're young; you probably don't have glaucoma.
(She exits just as Bonnie comes down the stairs, as bald as Michael Jordan.)