words in movies
Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Joey: She hot?
Joey: How did she get me to settle down?
Joey: Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya...
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Bitsy: She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. (Mike walks in) Oh, hello dear...
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.)
Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette.
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Rachel: (angrily) BACK OFF!!! (She starts banging on their door.) Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!!
Rachel: You said she was bald!!
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Eric: She, now I knew that and now Im sweating. Look at me, Im really sweatingNow Im saying, "Look at me," Im getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go.
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Lauren: (at the window, shes looking down out of the window) What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp?
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
JOEY: It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me.
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably shouldve told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg.
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Sophie: Shes not making me uncomfortable.
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Dr. Long: No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you dont know what they are, but shes fine.
Gunther: Sorry. She thought you were somebody else.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Monica: I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job.
Joey: Yeah, she broke up with me.
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Monica: Heres Frannie. Hmm, wont she be happy to see me? (Starts to get up and great Frannie.)
Ross: She doesnt know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy.
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
Phoebe: (not amused) Ha-ha. (She sits down on the couch.) No, its just Im so pregnant that Imy guitar doesnt fit anymore. So I thought til Im not, Im just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool!
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door.
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Cecilia: Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. (She throws her drink on a passing writer.)
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
(She exits and Phoebe goes over and sits down at the machine that works your shoulders and tries to do one, which she does, easily.)
Joey: Hows she doing?
Chandler: She is now.
Chandler: Well, she wasnt sleeping with him.
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Monica: I think shes here.
Lauren: (whispering) She got a job in L.A.
Ross: Well, if-if she thought they were on a break
BARRY: And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um?
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
Rachel: Which one do you think she is?
Ross: But, wont she notice I have makeup on?
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Monica: Wow, she must have hurt you pretty bad, huh?
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
MONICA: Did she leave a number?
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Phoebe: Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.